BUMPER KISSER!!!

I was enjoying a pleasant drive into work this morning. Loving the sunshine lighting up the sky and making our snow covered world look brilliant and beautiful when out of nowhere this silver Mazda comes speeding up behind me. I was driving in the fast lane in a bit of a hurry myself. I was trying not to be to speedy and minding my P's and Q's at 75. I figured she would slow down and back off as there were several cars in the next lane and I would be unable to move over for a minute. I tried speeding up just a little to try to put some mustard on the process because she was trying to send the message that she was in a hurry. The more I sped up the closer she got. Practically kissing my bumper. I suspect because she figured the second and I do mean second, I moved over she could pass me. Several minutes passed and I still had not been able to move over. At this point I was becoming excessively annoyed, so I gently tapped my brakes to give her the signal to BACK OFF!!!!! I had received her message that she was in a hurry and would like me to move over, but I was boxed in and there was nothing but driving like a crazy person could remedy at that moment.

She immediately threw her hands in the air to signal back that I was being completely wrecklessly irrarational and what the heck was I doing?!

In gesture back, I threw up my hands to say, "Yeah! Exactly! What the heck are you doing? Get off my bumper!!"

"Look lady! We aren't exactly driving on safe roads here. We've just had a sunami snow storm and the roads are a bit wet and icy. Now is not the time to show your thunder. I'm as competitive as the next guy, but could we save it for another day?"

What irritated me more is that she didn't back off. She got closer and gave me an even more kind and friendly commuting gesture. Yep. Does the phrase, "Peel my banana", mean anything to you right now?

Oooo! Boy was I ever hot! That put a burr in my saddle and I weren't none to happy about it.

At this juncture I was giving myself the self talk lecture, "Calm down. It will not help the situation nor your persnal dignity to continue this bumper kissing, crazy commuter driving rampage. So, I continued calmly forward at my previous speed.

The instant there was even a spec of room between her and the next lane she cut over, giving her neighboring commuter a fright. She vehemently cut right back in front of me and all the while sending me a finger message letting me know her disregard for me. In cutting in front of me, crazy Mazda lady nearly clipped my bumper at put us both in a tale spin. RRrrrraghhh! What an idiot!!!

I am now at work and the moment has settled a bit. I have been calmly thinking maybe I just misread her. Maybe if I had just taken a moment to take notice, she could have been an old friend from high school and she was just getting close enough to say good morning and it has been such a long time since I have seen you. Maybe she has a muscle injury that doesn't allow all her fingers to flex up when she waves hello, desperately trying to catch someones attention. Really, maybe I was just being a bit unreasonable.

Next time I will just honk and smile. And salute singing, "Here's to you bumper kisser! Hope you have a nice day too!"